toxic relationship
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Toxic Relationship And The Signs You Must Look For

 

A toxic relationship is any relationship that is unfavourable to you or others. The foundations of any relationship, healthy or not, are most commonly established upon mutual admiration and respect. Although it can  become remarkably unhealthy in no time. It is the poisonous atmosphere that distinguishes a merely bad or troublesome relationship from a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships can prevent those involved from living a productive and healthy life.

These relationships are not always made up of psychopaths or people with psychological conditions or symptomatology. They may be made up of good people with bad or poor relations.

Importantly, toxic relationships can be made up of poor choices, bad decisions, and wrong turns in life.

A toxic relationship contaminates your self-esteem, your happiness and the way you see yourself and the world.  

 

Can I fix it?

 

The truth is, you may or may not be able to fix a toxic relationship. There are certainly steps you can take to try.

In some cases, clear communication and two willing partners can vastly improve the quality of their relationship

Sometimes the other person is completely unwilling to change or anything about how they treat you. At that point, you’ll need to have clear internal boundaries and decide whether or not you want them to be in your life at all.

All relationships are worth the fight, until they’re not. In a toxic relationship there will always be fallout:

  • moodiness, anger, unhappiness become the norm;
  • you avoid each other more and more;
  • work and relationships outside the toxic relationship start to suffer.

If the relationship is toxic it is highly likely that all the fight in the world won’t change anything because one or both people have emotionally moved on. Perhaps they were never really there in the first place, or not in the way you needed them to be anyway. Even worse, if your relationship is toxic, you will be more and more damaged by staying in it.

Fighting to hold on to something that is not fighting to hold on to you will ruin you. Sometimes the only thing left to do is to let go with and love and move on.

Not all toxic relationships are easy to leave, but being aware of the signs will make it easier to claim back your power and draw a bold heavy line around what’s allowed into your life and what gets closed out.

 

Signs of a toxic relationship

 

Toxic relationship
Image source – toxic relationship

 

  1. Taking and no giving. Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.
  2. Feeling exhausted.If, instead of feeling happy and productive, you’re always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it’s time to re-evaluate.
  3. Lacking trust.A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.
  4. Hostile atmosphere.Constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.
  5. Imbalance.A one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.
  6. Lack of communication.Without communication, there is no relationship. Period.
  7. Persistent unreliability.Mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the core of any good relationship.
  8. Narcissism. If the other party’s interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it’s impossible to achieve any kind of balance.
  9. Negative energy.It’s almost impossible for anything positive to come out of a relationship filled with negativity.
  10. Judge-y.In judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be helpful but rather to belittle.
  11. Continuous disrespect.Mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership.
  12. Ceaseless control issues.  If one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you’re probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.
  13. Never-ending drama.Good relationships improve your life; they don’t make it messier.
  14. Persistent self-betrayal.If you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you’re in a damaging relationship.
  15. Feelings of unworthiness.It’s an insidious thing negative relationship do: They leave you feeling you don’t deserve any better.
  16. Pretence.Smiles and gestures that just don’t seem real any way.
  17. Diminishes your self-worth. When you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.
  18. Makes you unhappy. If someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.
  19. Feels uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what your heart already knows.
  20. Senses stagnant.Growth and learning are vital, and you can’t afford to be cut off from them.
  21. Filled with criticism.A nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve; it’s not about making things better but boosting the critic’s ego.
  22. Brings out the worst.If you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your best self.

 

Be clear about where the relationship starts and where you begin. 

There are plenty of reasons you might end up in a toxic relationship, none of which have nothing to do with strength of character or courage.

It’s important to make sacrifices in relationships but your happiness, self-esteem and self-respect should ALWAYS be on the list. If a relationship is built on love, it nurtures, restores, replenishes and revives. It doesn’t diminish.

You owe them nothing, you owe yourself everything. You deserve to thrive and to feel safe, and you deserve to be happy.