How To Raise A Confident Child?
Self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or her abilities. This arises out of achievements, great and small. Your encouraging words can help develop this confidence, especially when you refer to your child’s specific efforts or abilities.
As children get older, that confidence can be as important as the skills themselves. To thrive, kids need to trust in their own capabilities while, at the same time, knowing that they can handle if they aren’t successful at something. It’s by experiencing mastery and rebounding from failure that they develop healthy self-confidence.
Here are some tips to follow for raising a confident child:
- Show love
This seems obvious, but it’s probably the most important thing you can give your child. Your child needs to feel accepted and loved, beginning with the family and extending to other groups such as friends, schoolmates, sports teams, and community. If you yell or ignore or make some other parenting mistake, give your child a hug and tell her you’re sorry and you love her. Unconditional love builds a strong foundation for confidence.
- Model confidence yourself
Even if you’re not quite feeling it you will have to do it for your child sometimes. Seeing you tackle new tasks with optimism and lots of preparation sets a good example for kids. That doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be perfect. You must acknowledge your anxiety, but don’t focus on it. Instead focus on the positive things you will be on your way already.
- Stop controlling and start coaching
A coach can help kids develop skills but it’s the kids who play the game. Your job as a parent is to support your child so they can flourish and develop. Doing things FOR them robs them of the opportunity to become competent. Doing things WITH them teaches them and also builds confidence. You must let go your need to control.
- Don’t keep rescuing your child
It’s natural to want to prevent your child from getting hurt, feeling discouraged, or making mistakes. But when you intervene into their space and do their part of the job, you are not doing them any favours. Kids need to know that it’s okay to fail, and that it’s normal to feel sad, anxious, or angry. They learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles not by having you remove them.
- Encourage them to try new things
Instead of focusing all their energy on what they already excel at, it’s good for kids to diversify. Attaining new skills makes kids feel capable and confident that they can tackle whatever comes their way. It will also develop curiosity in them.
- Appreciate the effort
Remember that the journey is more important than the destination.
So, whether your child wins the trophy or even lose it to other kid, always applaud their effort. They should never feel embarrassed for trying. Tell them things like – “I see you worked so hard on this.” All humans need encouragement. Encouraging your child will not only keep them feeling more positive and motivated, it also gives them an inner voice that will help them to encourage themselves the rest of his life. Give your child maxims to repeat as mantras when the going gets tough. Like – “Practice makes progress!” and “If you don’t succeed, try, try again!” and “I think I can, I think I can!”.
- Increase life exposures and experiences so the child can develop confidence in coping with a larger world.
- Exposing children to new things teaches them that no matter how scary and different something seems; they can conquer it.
- Don’t be overprotective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them to understand how they can better approach that task next time.
- Learning from mistakes builds confidence.
- Nothing will discourage your child more than criticizing his or her efforts. Encourage instead of criticizing.
- The enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear.
- Learning and following rules gives children a sense of security and confidence.
- Use their hurdles as learning experiences rather than dwelling on the events as failures or disappointments.
- Remind your child of the skills he or she possesses and how they can be developed and used.
- Reassure your child that it’s OK not to be able to do everything perfectly.
Also read – Importance of art in children