How To Overcome With Dysfunctional Family Effects?
A family is the main influence in the life of a child. It provides its members with security, identity, and values regardless of age. An individual learns about his self-sense and for the rest of his life he gains a foundation. This foundation contains the values of the family which form the foundation of its own moral code. Consequently, parenting can have a huge impact on their development and growth as parents adopt it when they raise children. Now imagine a child in a context where problems such as parental neglect, rigidity, alcoholism or abuse exist within a family that disturbs his smooth running, leading to ongoing conflict, strife, argument, and tension. Then, think about a child’s mental condition.
What is a Dysfunctional Family?
A family with constant and perennial conflict, neglect and misconduct are dysfunctional. Modern psychology defines families within them as those with anxious systems. The family members have a huge amount of emotional disturbance, and sometimes it means child neglect and abuse. Children of dysfunctional families assume it is normal since they are regularly exposed to it and do not know the various aspects of the management of dysfunctional families.
On the other hand, a functional family encourages all families to grow optimally and provides a safe environment for emotional well-being.
Dysfunctional Family Members Relationship:
Ideally, in an environment that helps them feel lovable and valuable, children should grow up. Such children grow up to be emotionally healthy and continue to be healthy.
However, they have low self-esteem and poor self-image when children grow up in an environment where their needs are curbed or they are constantly criticized and abused. They grow up, therefore, believing that such an arrangement is normal and accepting it as part of their lives.
There is mutual respect between family members in a normal functional family, and everyone has their back.
Tension and lack of confidence among parents and children are always present in dysfunctional families. Furthermore, parents often have a misguided authority within the family. There is a degree of mistrust and resentment among adults too. The members don’t create a safe environment
Reasons For Dysfunctionality in Family:
Here are some reasons for creating a hostile family environment for children:
If one or both family parents are addicted to drugs, alcohol, or gambling, they don’t care about their responsibilities, including those toward their family. Relationships and love for their kids don’t matter to people with addictions. They seem to be alienated from reality in a separate world.
2. Violent Behavior:
One or more family members ‘ violent behavior breaks that family’s foundation. The other people are afraid that they may be hurt physically and emotionally and thus maintain a distance. Failure to interact creates further distance between them.
3. Fundamentalism For Religion:
With strong religious convictions, parents may develop rigidity and thereby enforce their beliefs in children. These actions limit the atmosphere at home for children to be normal people. The reasons behind dysfunctionality and circumstances vary from family to family. And every situation can affect the child in various ways.
A person’s urge to have control over family members vitiates the home atmosphere. They may unleash tyranny, and the others have no choice but to do what they are told by the person. Such behavior curtails their freedom and dislikes each other’s members.
5. Financial situation:
One of the most important requirements for a happy family is money. It leads to cracks and makes the family dysfunctional in scenarios where parents stop working or are unable to meet the family’s financial requirements.
Signs You Come From A Family That Is Dysfunctional:
Look for these signs to find out if your family falls into the category of dysfunction.
1. You Are Constantly Pleasing People:
You are afraid of disappointing people as a result of being abandoned. To please people, you go to great lengths. You grow with the belief that they won’t abandon you if you’re nice to them. So, to please others, you sacrifice your own needs.
2. Feeling Guilty:
You feel guilty of no fault with yours and assume that when others are upset, it is your fault. This is because of the erroneous belief that you are responsible for their feelings. Even if at your own cost, you want to do anything to make others happy.
3. Feel Empty and Lonely:
You fear loneliness. You crave affection, and you feel isolated when it doesn’t come.
4. You are a perfectionist:
You must have tried to fulfill your family’s expectations as a child. Fear failure, so far as you are obsessed with it, this makes you a perfectionist.
5. You feel responsible for others:
While ignoring your needs, you take responsibility for others. As you live in a co-dependent relationship, you lose your identity.
6. You are harsh on yourself:
Because you were judged as a child, you judge yourself.
7. Poor communication skills
You think of something, but you end up saying something vague because you don’t know how to put your thoughts into words. This could probably be the result of negligence on your childhood feelings by your parents.
There is no hope that life will be better and more peaceful. You become pessimistic, and in your life you feel something is missing.
A few of these signs does not mean your family is dysfunctional, but if the majority of these signs are related to, check whether your family has the dysfunctional family.
Effects of Growing Up in A Dysfunctional Family:
Growing up in a dysfunctional family can have negative effects on children in large measure. Mistrust, anxiety, despise and other negative emotions lead to a very insecure adult. Some common behavior patterns can be observed in people who come from a dysfunctional family who are:
- The child has a bad self image and suffers from an insecurity and self – esteem.
- He / she finds it hard to form healthy adult relationships and is shy or have a personality disorder
- Often he / she gets angry and prefers being isolated.
- In studies, they usually have a poor performance as they struggle to concentrate.
- They are self-destroying or self-destructive.
- They are prone to drug, alcohol or smoking addiction.
The child may suffer from severe mental conditions such as depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, paranoia. Such individuals may lack discipline as they do not have a good role model to look up while they grow up and may become irresponsible or destructive.
You can also lose your childlike innocence, because you need to take on major duties in an early age. The scenario may look bad in a dysfunctional family, but it is certainly reversible. The dysfunctionality must be identified and the problem addressed in order to lead a healthy life.
Overcome The Negative Effect Of Dysfunctional Family
The effects of dysfunctional families may seem difficult to overcome, but fortunately, it is not impossible. It requires a lot of patience and effort. Once you know whether you raise a dysfunctional family the first step is to recognize and recognize dysfunctional baggage-related behaviors and habits. It can be done in some ways. Here’s how to:
1. Take Responsibility:
As a parent, you have a choice to surmount your conditions and to work for your family to create a healthier emotional situation. It is important to take responsibility for your actions and learn how to fulfill your and your family’s expectations.
2. Seek assistance:
Once you recognize your shortcomings, it is important to seek professional assistance or help in any way to address childhood issues. It can be a difficult thing to deal with low self – confidence, and it always helps to have family and friends ‘ support.
3. Get Creative:
Conflicting situations can sometimes make room for creativity and expression. If you want to overcome a dysfunctional family’s negative effect, express yourself to your family and close ones in a healthy manner. Share your thinking and talk about how relationships can be rebuilt.
4. Build Trust:
Growing up in a place where trust among the adults you’ve seen around you is not easy. As a child, if you’ve seen the mistrust of your parents, there’s a tendency you’re going to carry the same into your adulthood and even parenthood. Learn to build confidence among your closest ones with time and patience.
The dysfunctional families that are emotionally unstable affect everyone in the home, especially children. If in the family of love, trust and honesty you want to build a stronger connection, take responsibility and move first and be prepared to face difficulties. There is plenty of help to make a positive change to your family. Besides professional support, numerous literature will guide you.
Also Read: Know How To Be A Good Parent